Increase your social circle – I consider myself extremely fortunate to have had some truly wonderful friendships throughout my life. While many of them came and went, some got married, some changed towns, and one of them actually became a priest.
But whatever. Every one of my incredible pals has given me insight into who I am and what makes me tick. I believe that you see yourself through the eyes of others, particularly those you are close to.
Therefore, I believe it’s crucial to surround yourself with the proper people and intentionally build your tribe.
You should surround yourself with those that help you grow as a person.
And the majority of the time, they are going to be friendships. However, you don’t develop genuine friendships by adhering to a step-by-step action plan or anything like.
The finest relationships I’ve ever had appear to have just come by chance, when I didn’t really anticipate it at all.
So it should go without saying that with this video, I’m not interested in giving you a step-by-step tutorial on how to persuade everyone to be your friend or anything similar since I believe it’s sort of pointless and stupid.
But I do want to speak about some very helpful lessons I’ve learnt throughout my life that have really made it simpler for me to make friends and create friends of a better caliber.
Overall, you’ll be able to interact with others far more honestly.
The best advice I can provide is to always take the initiative.
So, when I was around 15 or 16, I used to browse Reddit’s boards for self-improvement and such content.
When I was browsing r/socialskills, I stumbled upon a post that essentially altered the course of my life.
I’ve searched everywhere for this particular post, but I can’t locate it.
So it would be amazing if someone could assist me with this.
But in the post, there was a gentleman who mentioned that he didn’t have many friends and that those he did have were beginning to disappear for no apparent reason.
He was a bit of a loner and an introvert, and he was getting quite frustrated as all of his friends seemed to be drifting away from him.
Up until his final pal, to whom he had finally ceased contacting.
This Reddit user, who is upset, perplexed, and disappointed by this, walks up to his pal and asks, “Dude, where’d you go?”
Why didn’t you call me anymore?
Why do you no longer invite me to events?
Then, turning to face him, his pal remarked, “It’s because you never ask me anyplace.
I assumed you didn’t enjoy our interactions.
And because I simply never welcomed anyone anywhere, this really kind of altered my outlook.
I consistently awaited the invitation.
I was usually moping about, wondering why I never received invitations to hip events.
And I soon came to the realization that I was making absolutely no effort to make arrangements, phone people, or ask them to things.
Take charge if you don’t have many friends, don’t do activities all that often, and want to be someone who does stuff with others.
Like every other element of your life, you have the power to alter anything you choose since it is your life.
Consequently, take charge of your social life as well.
Always take the lead.
If you want to do something enjoyable, think of an idea and ask the individual to it.
Leave them alone if they choose not to accept that concept.
Are those recordings?
– [Man] I caught you peeing on video.
– You did?
– [Man] I agree.
The next important lesson I’ve learnt is that honesty is the best medicine.
The fear of expressing your viewpoint, of being controversial, of being politically wrong, or of being offensive is one of the major risks in every social encounter.
But if you want anyone to know who you are in this world, you really need to get rid of this fear.
Because so many individuals are so amenable, they take great care to avoid offending anybody by being highly circumspect with their every word.
They are making sure to laugh along with everyone else’s jokes.
They’re acting quite cordial.
And what this ultimately does is that a lot of people start to perceive you as someone who is pleasant.
Although people don’t really know you, they don’t find you offensive, so you’re fine to be around.
Everyone will like you, but nobody will love you.
It is thus likely that you find it difficult to develop relationships with others beyond a superficial level if you are the type of person who never wants to cause trouble or make anyone feel uncomfortable.
You are essentially hiding your identity from people if you don’t express your actual thoughts, talk openly about your passions, share what you’ve learned, or stand up for what’s right.
Additionally, people have a tendency not to form strong bonds with strangers.
Particularly those they don’t trust.
Everyone, in my opinion, knows a few folks with whom they always strike up the same discussion when they see them in a grocery store or similar setting.
How’s it going, man? “Oh, that’s good, how about the hockey team?”
Oh, that’s right.
So, how frequently do you get on the ice? Oh my goodness, the dude is a nice man.
Yes, your wife’s family is doing well, right?
Oh, my, that’s good.
Well, I’m going to let you go because I need to get moving. But it was lovely running into you.
In my opinion, I’ve had that discussion with eight to ten different folks.
Usually, it’s simply my hockey teammates or something like.
Therefore, I’m not advocating that you become close friendships with everyone you come into contact with in this world and go over the initial awkwardness.
But what I’m trying to say is that if you want to build stronger relationships with people, you have to be willing to sort of break out of that small talk and ask questions you’re actually curious about. You might think that this is a weird thing to ask, but if you want to, just practice asking questions.
People have two options when you say anything provocative and contentious.
They may truly connect with what you’re saying and exclaim, “Yeah, dude, that’s amazing,” or they may not.
Or they can say, “I’m leaving.
This man is damaged.
Both of those are quite advantageous since rejection is a very effective strategy, which brings me to my next argument.
People will definitely turn away from you because they utterly disagree with you when you speak honestly, wear your beliefs on your sleeve, and aren’t scared to be controversial or just be yourself around others.
And that’s a really positive thing because it makes it easy to identify who is genuinely staying.
And the individuals that remain are typically those with whom you can truly connect.
And I was considering this the other day since, in my opinion, rejection is something that always occurs when two individuals are mismatched.
Additionally, it can occur suddenly or gradually over the course of a traumatic and poisonous relationship.
When two people start chatting at the same time and you don’t click with either of them at all, you kind of go the other way and you never speak to them again. This is referred to as a fast rejection.
That rejection hurts so badly.
In terms of dating, you approach a girl, a boy, or anyone you are approaching and say, “Hey baby.”
They respond by saying, “Nah, get out of here.”
I don’t like you because you stink, are offensive, and have awful breath.
That’s it after that.
You think, “Oh, that’s sort of a bummer.”
However, I should probably clean my teeth first.
You won’t need to communicate with that individual ever again because it is a severe rejection.
But when people are being honest, that is what occurs.
They are speaking truthfully.
Hey, I’m interested in bonding with you, says one individual.
The other individual responds, “No, leave.”
Then they dispersed.
That, in my opinion, is great.
It has open communication and unmistakable consequences.
However, slow rejection is something that few people fully consider.
And I believe it occurs when two individuals are incompatible yet struggle to openly communicate with one another.
Therefore, these two personality types may genuinely enter a friendship or relationship only to discover later on that they don’t really like one other at all and have a great deal of resentment towards them.
As a result, they start to grow resentful of one another and angry about their basic differences.
When they leave a banana on the table, for example, you may become petty and strike out at them.
However, what you’re actually lashing out at is your disagreement with the other person on matters of politics and religion, not the banana.
But since you never resolved it in the first place, you now have to deal with all of this drama.
It’s a complete disaster, that’s all.
But often, it only happens when two parties don’t first communicate very honestly.
They are unable to see the differences right away, assess them, and then come to the realization that this person is quite different from themselves. As a result, they decide to end the relationship before it becomes too complicated.
Therefore, rejection is inevitable if a person is incompatible with you.
Either immediately or much later is possible.
Therefore, choose direct communication and prompt rejection.
The worst, most unfavorable social interaction advice ever is definitely this.
Hey, this is Better Ideas. Here’s how to be rejected 90% of the time.
Demographics are the focus of this final piece of advice.
And I learned this fact from Mark Manson’s book “Models,” which is actually about dating, relationships, and other related topics.
However, this is true for every form of connection you seek to enter, including friendships.
As a result, many people lament the lack of similar people in their lives.
They are unique little snowflakes with their own specific interests and pastimes.
It’s possible that they have odd interests, hobbies, and viewpoints.
They bemoan the fact that they can never locate their tribe or their kin.
People who share their precise viewpoints, with whom they can easily click and have a fantastic time.
Together, they can spout all of their odd thoughts about anything.
But when individuals can’t locate those who understand them, they get depressed.
Well, a lot of people search for their soul match or closest buddy in the most commonplace, open-air locations ever.
They don’t genuinely consider their ideals and areas of interest before visiting those places to meet those folks.
You want to boost your chances of connecting with others.
That is merely statistics and fundamental demography.
Start genuinely attending the church young adults group you’ve been avoiding if you’re religious.
There are many others in that group that share your viewpoint.
If you enjoy sports and are physically fit, join an intramural or school-sponsored sports team.
Start participating in the extracurricular activities, small optional group meetings, and other such things.
Assemble among your people.
Go there if you want to meet others who are interested in the same things you are.
However, you might not always be really skilled at all of your activities.
You are concerned that if you attend one of those group gatherings, such as a photography club, everyone would laugh at you since you are terrible.
You should probably put down the camera and never snap another photo again since you are not at all good.
However, if you utilize the video’s sponsor, Skillshare, you’ll fortunately never experience that.
An online learning community called Skillshare has hundreds of lessons on a wide range of subjects.
Everything from photography to cinematography to cuisine to computing to my most recent class, How to Hone Your Voice Online with Nathaniel Drew.
And it’s really a fantastic seminar, especially for those who have been experimenting with the notion of having a blog or a YouTube channel.
Perhaps you’ve thought to yourself, “Maybe I can do that,” after seeing some of your favorite YouTubers.
Nathaniel Drew’s lesson is an excellent place to start since it will provide you with the knowledge and attitude you need to overcome that challenge.
His course is incredibly practical, much like a lot of other courses on Skillshare.
Therefore, you may quickly apply anything you learn on Skillshare to your real-world endeavors.
And it’s quite inexpensive, especially when compared to live classes and seminars.
It costs less than $10 per month if you get an annual membership.
Additionally, Skillshare is offering a free trial of their premium service if you click on my link in the description below for a short time only.
Which means you may currently check out all the lessons on Skillshare, including Nathaniel Drew’s, for free by clicking the link.
So be sure to utilize that connection, get new knowledge, exercise your imagination, and enjoy yourself as always.