Eye Contact with a Girl – Men and women perceive creepiness differently, according to the first ever research on the topic, which was conducted just a few weeks ago.
Men associate creepiness with taxidermy, the paranormal, horror movies, clowns, and other such items.
Women share these connections plus one additional one.
The idea for this film came to me after I realized that every guy has done something weird when flirting at some point in his life, which is why women tend to link males with creepiness.
I know I have, and the reason is that men don’t grasp what is weird the same way that women do. I reasoned that by delving into the most prevalent ways that men be creepy without realizing it, I might spare you the hassle and, ideally, steer you away from the road you don’t want to be on.
Eye contact is the first thing you may be doing, and I see guys doing it all the time since I live in Las Vegas.
Goldilocks’ principle is that both too little and too much creepiness are undesirable.
You must get it exactly correctly.
We all recognize the signs of excessive eye contact.
It’s the guy who, when inebriated, sees a girl and then just looks at her.
Or it might be the guy that approaches her directly and simply invades her personal space by getting too near.
However, too little can also be painful.
When this happens, a male approaches a girl from behind and asks her, startlingly, “Oh, my gosh, what were you doing there?”
On the dance floor, I witness this frequently.
A guy who sneaks up behind a female and begins grinding before she even notices him, then all of a sudden, surprise, there he is.
Accordingly, the guideline for eye contact while approaching a lady in whom you are interested is that you want to have just enough so that she can sense your approach, but not so much that she can tell that you have been standing there for 15 minutes trying to get the nerve to speak to her.
That implies you should go talk to her within the first 1, 2, or maybe 3 times you make eye contact with her.
I am aware that this is challenging because the first time, you could think, “Crap, that’s a lovely girl,” the second, “Oh, god, what will I say,” the third, “Oh, no, she noticed me,” and the fourth, “Oh, no, she saw me,” and then, you know, six times later, you’re kind of lost for words.
Once you’ve made eye contact with a female a few times, how do you teach yourself to talk to her?
How? Read on.
Make eye contact with everyone you come across when you’re out and about at a pub or club, whether they be wait staff, bussers, men, women, or anybody.
Make these brief eye contact encounters.
Secondly, add a grin.
As you pass someone, you must smile at them briefly, right?
Third, if you’d like, add a high five, a wave, or anything else.
One of your goals should be to feel internally at ease with these brief exchanges so that you don’t spend the entire time gazing down at your feet.
Second, you want to see how many people can return the favor because every time someone waves, smiles, or gives you a high five, that’s an invitation to go talk to them.
The more fun you’re having, the better each of these micro-interactions will go. That’s how you’ll get excellent at this, I’ll tell you right now as a small suggestion for you.
When you’re having a good time, folks will almost always want to high five you or ask you, “Hey, what’s up man?”
They’ll want to participate in it.
Nobody will answer you if you say, “Hey,” while feeling tense and bored.
Start by doing that so that you may later target it directly towards the women you want to chat with.
After climbing up there and enjoying yourself, you glimpse a woman and catch her attention. You grin and wave to her.
Done if she waves back and smiles.
You can approach her now; she sensed you.
Keep your grin on while you’re moving, maintain eye contact, and say anything to god.
It’s simple to go on to: “We just exchanged awkward glances.
It was starting to get strange if I didn’t say hello, right?”
A quick jest, and you start speaking, “Why is that?
That was really simple—I literally just thought of it off the top of my head—but it ought to work.
So, making eye contact is the first step.
The second is that, you know, you’re going to talk to me eventually.
There are countless ways for conversation to be creepy.
There are several ways to go wrong, but I think praises are the most typical one.
Men would say things like, “Oh, my my, you’re just so gorgeous like, wow, I don’t even know, we don’t have ladies like you where I come from, it’s oh, wow, I’m like you made me so frightened,” when they meet a woman they are drawn to. I overhear this all the time in Vegas.
Again, despite their best efforts, they are actually anxious.
They’re at a loss for what to do, but they’re unaware that every compliment you give someone makes them feel more tense.
And if you’ve ever received excessive compliments from a coworker or intern looking for a promotion, it may have made you wonder, “Okay, what does this person want?”
Like, what exactly are they bribing me with?
Therefore, you must figure out a strategy to relieve the tension that is brought on by your compliments.
You may and should still compliment ladies.
One of the best methods to show them your attention is to do that.
What do you then?
You combine the tension-producing compliment with the tension-releasing joke.
It’s a method known as push-pull, pull-push, or whatever name you choose to give it.
Moving on to the third piece—which is touching—is the next thing we’ll do.
Again, the Goldilocks principle is at play: too much is evident; too little is too much.
Again, when males are intoxicated, it’s more likely that they may grab the lady or otherwise act quite aggressively.
Too little, though; just as unsettling and awful.
Without a doubt, I have done this in the past.
I would approach a female and start a conversation with her while feeling somewhat intrigued.
I would like to tap her on the shoulder and see if she will, you know, respond.
Or we can snap a photo and I’ll kind of hold her hands while placing a very gentle touch on her shoulder.
Incongruence is when what you say and what you do don’t match, giving the appearance to her that you have something to conceal. We’ll speak more about this later, but simply, you don’t want to be acting that way since it suggests some form of incongruence in you.
That is what makes anything creepy.
So, how do you properly touch?
Realizing there is more than one way is crucial in this situation.
I frequently go out because I reside in Las Vegas.
If you have a certain amount of social intelligence, you probably have no trouble approaching a woman, grabbing her, spinning her around, and dancing with her on the dance floor.
However, I can’t suggest blanket to everyone since if you don’t have a strong sense of social awareness, you might have major issues.
The safest approach is to think of it like this: In North American society, anywhere on her arm for 1 to 3 seconds early in the engagement, once you’re talking to someone and even while you’re sort of navigating through the throng, is usually safe.
You’ll be just fine.
That’s not a lot at all.
That’s a sufficient quantity to gauge her level of receptivity.
Therefore, if this is her shoulder and this is my hand, I may say, “Hey, me and my friends are going over there to the bar, do you guys want to come with us?” while I’m talking.
I put my hand here to catch her attention before removing it.
We may also high-five; I give her a fist, she makes me giggle, and I exclaim, “It’s freaking fantastic.” You can then hold her hand for a little moment before releasing it in the count of three.
Given that creepiness results from failing to read social cues, that sum will provide me with the information that is most important to me.
I must now be sensitive and open to hearing what she thinks about that.
She clearly feels comfortable touching me, at least to some extent, since if I suggest, “Let’s go over to the bar,” she responds, “Sure,” holds my hand, and goes there with me. The next time, I might give her a hug or take her to the dance floor.
However, if I make eye contact with a female and say, “Hey, we’re heading to the bar,” she responds, “Yeah, we’re going to remain here.”
That’s a very obvious sign that she doesn’t want me touching her, which might suggest one of two things: either she doesn’t feel comfortable enough with me for whatever reason, maybe that’s just how she is, maybe she’s having a terrible day, or maybe she just doesn’t like the color of my shirt.
In order to see if we can connect a little more, I may either A) cease the conversation or B) resume chatting to her without touching her. After a few minutes, I’ll check in to see how she feels with a similar sort of, you know, 1 to 3 second touch.
Guess what if it doesn’t get any better?
Move on; this is not a match.
So, if you touch someone for 1 to 3 seconds on the arm, you should normally be safe, but of course, pay attention to feedback and take appropriate action.
Creepiness enters the scene at this point.
The males are the ones who don’t get feedback.
Trapping is the fourth item.
This is the one that I think males are least aware of, and it’s challenging because you’ve never had to deal with it.
But if you’re a male, you often don’t recognize that the majority of the women you’re interested in will be smaller than you; after all, they’d probably lose to you in a fight.
They are going to be lighter and shorter.
This is why women have developed this feeling of creepiness through thousands of years: all of these characteristics that make you a real physical threat to them.
There’s a gut-level sensation that I might not be safe in this situation.
So even if you’re simply chatting to somebody and the discussion is going fine, you can create a situation in which you’re physically enclosing them in a little area.
Unless she has a very high level of comfort with you, then it can make her feel like, “Oh, my god, I need to get out of here.”
Let’s sit down over here, I say after observing a man and a woman enjoying a wonderful talk.
She gets into the booth before he does, and it’s ruined because she is now saying things like, “I need to get out of here, “I need to go to the restroom,” “I need to locate my friends,” and “I need to simply not be here.” She doesn’t aware that he has trapped her in the seat.
At bars, the same thing happens, correct?
A man approaches as a woman is at a pub.
Since she is facing me with her back to the bar, I am obstructing her escape physically. What’s more, if two of my buddies come out to say hey, we’ll have a wall of males blocking her exit.
That is definitely not good.
Therefore, when it comes to trapping, simply remember to put your own back against the wall and within that tiny booth, right?
She will continue to believe that she has the option to go, and you will be able to make the proper arrangements thanks to that.
So don’t trap anything so basic.
Ensure that you are the one who is finding it more difficult to go than she is.
The most frequent examples of creepiness I observe are those.
Although I couldn’t possible cover the subject of flirting or how to avoid being weird in this little content, I do hope that you guys have found it useful.
Feel free to add any more information regarding flirting in general that piques your curiosity in the Comments section.
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